El Pollo

It's the finest prize rooster in all of Tulsa County.

An $8 solid glass Hobby Lobby chicken christened "El Pollo" by his captors. In his prime, he was the most feared gamecock on the Great Plains circuit.

Unfortunately, his career was cut short amid scandal when El Pollo's involvement in a fight-fixing scheme was revealed during a sting on the outskirts of Hillsboro, KS. He was banished from the sport, and his eligibility for the Cock Fighting Hall of Fame remains in question to this day.

Months of boozin' and sleazin' and a failed attempt to open a used car dealership outside Wichita to capitalize on his notoriety led to El Pollo's financial demise.

Now, El Pollo crashes on my couch and dances for table scraps. A shell of his former self.